Hello all!! I'm dedicating my life to the Lord for the next eighteen months by serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'll teach people the gospel of Jesus Christ and have a good time doing it! Here are a few of my thoughts on my decision to serve as I get ready to begin my mission next Wednesday.
Why and how sisters decide to go on missions is a common discussion topic and something that I've pondered a lot. It seems like some people handle the whole situation of going on a mission so gracefully and sometimes I feel like I've clunked all the way through the process. Every step of the way proved to be way more personal and difficult than I anticipated. For me it all started with a prompting that came in the fall of 2009 to just think about serving a mission and explore whether or not it was something for me. This led me on the long and hard road of...dun dun dun...decision making! Although it wasn't always apparent at the time I can see now that Heavenly Father gently guided me along the way and helped me do something that was personally really difficult. Initially, I just wanted to be told what my path was supposed to be and I was frustrated with the confusion I felt. But Heavenly Father knew me. He knew that I needed it to be my choice, which is now something that I hold dear. He knew what I didn't and lovingly prepared me for this time in my life in countless ways.
So why did I chose to serve a mission? I've questioned my motivation many, many times. Am I doing it for the right reasons? Do I have enough motivation for when things get hard? Why is this the choice that I'm making? Do I really want to do this? What is making me continue to chose this path when every step of the way has been difficult? All throughout the decision making process I constantly felt the need to evaluate my motives.
So with all that thinking, I came up with three main reasons why I chose to serve. #1-I'm selfish. haha. I know that the intense learning experience I will have will provide things for me that I can't get in any other way. I want the skills, habits, knowledge, and testimony growth that a mission will provide. #2-I know that I would be so unhappy with myself if I didn't serve. I have no reason not to serve and I feel like I would be throwing away an amazing experience just because of my own fear and laziness. My conscience won't allow me to chicken out from something that I know deep down I need to do. #3-I believe in what I believe; and I want to bring that joy to others. I've been given so much and I feel a responsibility to do something with that. I know that living the gospel brings true happiness. As my testimony grows I can't help but wish that the feelings I have could be shared with others. I want others to feel the comfort and peace that the Atonement brings in our moments of need, to develop a real relationship with their Father in Heaven, to know that they're so loved by their Savior, and to feel the surety of truthfulness that the Holy Ghost can provide.
When I question myself, I remind myself of these reasons and I remember that this is something I want to do. I'm happy. I know that what I'm doing is right and I'm content.
I'm really excited for this time in my life...definitely a tad bit more than nervous, but I'm working on that. I'm taking it one day at a time...and focusing on not being an emotional basketcase. haha. Humbled and ready to learn, I'm going forward with faith and that's all I can ask of myself right now. I trust that my Heavenly Father will take care of me and guide me. I know that this will be one AMAZING experience and although I don't think I'll ever feel prepared enough, I'm excited to embark on this new adventure.
And as always...it's gonna be a paaaarrtaaaay! ;)
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