Monday, October 3rd!!

Um... WOAH. Time FLIES!! I seriously think nothing compares to the mission in this aspect. NOTHING. It's like a vacuum takes it all away and it doesn't feel like that time ever even existed!!!! I've been in the field almost 1 MONTH now. WHAAAAAAT?!?! It's basically ridiculous. I can't BELIEVE IT. I'm starting to realize how short tansfers are. Six weeks goes by in a snap!! It all just makes me realize how important each day is. I don't want to end my mission regretting those days when I shouldv'e worked harder. They all count for SO MUCH.

General conference was AWESOME!! As usual, I'm amaaaazed. I could go on and on about that but I'm just gonna say go watch it if you haven't (lds.org). Those precious hours are worth everything and are so profound and special. We have a LIVING prophet. We must show our gratitude by being willing to listen to him!!

It's been a buussssssy week! Sis. Sprouse and I have been POOOOOPED all week. I think we pushed our bodies to the max and they got mad at us. We hadn't even done anything out of the ordinary but I think everything just caught up to us. She's been out 9 months and it really wearrrrrrs on your body! And my body's still adjusting to it all. The mission takes a toll because it's not just the physical aspect of being busy all the time, but we're really giving of ourselves. It's emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally A LOT. I've never experienced something to this extreme and I'm stillllll trying to catch up with it all. I think after doing it all for a month and a half (MTC plus in-field) my body had to freak out a bit. haha. I'm learning to deal with it though. Mission life is stressful but I'm getting used to the rigorous and taxing work. We're completly sustained by Heavenly Father. There's NO way we could be doing all that we are if He weren't getting us through it. There's SO much that's asked of missionaries but we're made able because of the sacredness and specialness of our callings. IT'S ALL SO WORTH IT. And we get P-days, so it's all good. They're sooooo needed in like 50 bajillion different ways. haha. So after being revived this week will be a lot better!

Sometimes I'm still so amazed at how busy we are. It's hard for me to gauge and realize how big it all is because everything's new to me. My idea of a mission at this point is being this busy, because that's what I've experienced; but then I hear other missionaries talk about their areas and I can't imagine having to deal with such slowness of the work. Thinking that my experience could be like that whenever I'm transferred out of this area is not okay. I wanna work my hardest and be effective!!

I want my whole mission to be the way it is now. I LOVE THIS WORK. I don't know why I've been blessed to staarrrrt off my mission this way. I know it's little crazy to expect it to always be this successful (cuz this is rare!), but I have high expectations. I've gotta shoot for the stars! At this point my perspective has changed. I believe that I can be an AMAZING missionary through completely relying on the Lord. Before I came on my mission and for a while since I've been here I knew I wanted to be obedient. I knrew that if I was coming on a mission, I wanted to do it right. I didn't expect much of myself because I didn't really know what to expect. I believed I could do the work but I guess I saw myself as an average missionary. I had high expectations for myself, as an individual, in being obedient and coming closer to the Lord but I didn't think as much about what I would do, as a missionary, for Him. I have real motivation now. I believe in myself. I've reflected on what I want to do as a missionary and what I want to become. I want to be an extraordinary missionary and I don't want to have ONE regret. I know I can do this. I'm so humbled and so grateful for all that I've been given. There's NO way to repay the Lord. He just continues to give. But I want to show my LOVE for Him by being a top-notch missionary, by excelling, and by becoming what He wants be to be. It won't be easy, that's for sure; and success won't always show in the work, but I HAVE HOPE.

So many missionaries are wasting their time. It's been said that 80% of missionaries do 20% of the work and 20% of the missionaries do 80% of the work, and I've heard from missionaries with more experience that this is very true. I want to be at the top! I want to rise above. I can NOT let this time go by and not do my best for the Lord. This time flies by and I've gotta make the MOST of it. I don't want to sound boastful, but I have real passion now. I've never experienced this with anything before in my life. I want to be my best and I'm willing to do the work. I've found that faith and real trust/completely relying on the Lord are my weaknesses. But I know, because of Ether 12:27, that those can become my STRENGTHS. How grateful I am for this. Heavenly Father knows me and my struggles and He's willing to pick me up and carry me along. I've so experienced this since I've been out. He is SO aware of me. One night I felt so alone. I wasn't experiencing what I expected to as a missionary. I was being impatient with myself. I wasn't feeling the Spirit guide me the way I thought it did with missionaries. I just felt so far removed from Heavenly Father. I felt like I wanted to be a good missionary SO bad, but EVERYTHING in my natural man was hoooolding me back. I prayed and cried and looked for answers, but went to sleep frustrated. The next morning during studies we studied the atonement for a lesson we had that day. I NEEDED that lesson. I learned so much about my Savior. I'm so grateful for Him. Heavenly Father gave me everything I needed that very next morning. I felt so humbled. People say that the mission breaks you down to build you up and that's so true. I know that I am weak, but He is strong. In Preach My Gospel it says that our confidence should be in Christ and not our own abilities (or lack thereof!). I found this in the MTC and it's carried me all along the way. There's more to that quote but I've run out of time. eek!

In ALL WE DO, we must rely on Christ. He's eeeeeverything!!! He's given me so much strength and He'll do the same for you!!!

Love you all, do good things!!